Do you ever get like super vulnerable late at night that you just want to spill your heart out and say how you feel because you’ve been holding it in for so long and you just need some ventilation and there’s just something about two in the morning that makes me lose my filter and say the things I would never have the guts to say when the sun is up.
It’s really over.. A whole year and now I feel broken, unwanted, and unloved. It’s one of the most painful feelings I’ve ever felt. People are shit and that’s the only thing I should never forget.
Really feeling the loneliness creep in. But hey, at least I have no one else to let me down or vice versa.
Probably the shittiest person to know. She’s is an amazing mom and loves her family more than anything. But as a friend, wife, and human being, she sucks.
She uses people, talks behind her friends back, a huge hypocrite, and is fake. Don’t get me wrong though, when it comes to her kids and grand kids, she will die for them. But if you didn’t pop out of her or was not born within her family circle, she would not give two fucks about you or the relationship you hold with her.It’s unbelievable how little respect I have for her sometimes. If my dad were still here, my little brothers would have someone to look up to and guide them.
So fucking powerful.
can’t get over this
It’s better to just shut your feelings off.
I hate airports. And hospitals. Fuck.
How do I deal with the person I love the most hating me?
I’m such a fuck up. Why am I here?
I have never been so stressed out in my entire life. I literally have no one to lean onto but myself. The love of my life hates me, my only friend here is moving back to Tennessee, I entire family lives in another state, I have court/lawyer fees to deal with, loans to pay off, and bills to worry about. Not to mention that I might have a drinking problem. I’m trying to stay positive about all this, but I can tell its starting to affect me. I can only put on a fake smile for so long before I start to crack. I don’t want to go to that dark place again. I’m starting to have these thoughts I had before, and its scaring the fuck out of me. I don’t want to be that person again. I can barely do work nowadays because I just sit there and think about how I’m going to get through the week. I hardly eat anymore either. I don’t know what to do. I’m a major fuck up. I can’t do anything right. What the fuck am I doing?
The worst part is, last time I had my sister and friends to lean on to deal with these dark thoughts. But now, I am literally all by myself and I don’t know if I’ll be okay this time.
The first one is absolutely beautiful.
That gas one… fucking dream right there. Never been able to do it.